To Love and to Be Loved - Matthew 25:31-42

My father died four years ago at 90. It was a long, slow road to heaven for him--especially the last few months. Mother, who was seven years his junior, never expected to live without him. When he died, she was out of her mind with grief. She wanted to die with him. It was a vital concern to us that we get all harmful medications out of their rooms, because she was a suicide risk.

But not everyone in the family agreed whether we should. At least one member questioned aloud if we should have done that. Was it fair to stop someone who wanted to die from dying, when there seemed no reason to live?

I do not question that we did the right thing by protecting her from herself. But what that family member thought wasn’t hard-hearted or irrational. I must admit it crossed my mind, too. I think it does for a lot of us when we suffer, or when we see those we love suffer and die. We put dogs to sleep—why not people?

Let’s not jump to any easy answers, because they aren’t any. We all have to face death and suffering in ourselves and others. If Jesus doesn’t come back in our lifetime, we will all get sick and die. Most of us won’t die until we go through a period of old age and illness. The World Health Organization reports that Americans on the average will enjoy 69.3 mostly healthy years. Even so, we will die on the average between the 78^th and 80th year, which means that we will endure between 8 to 11 years of old age and illness. During this period, we become more and more dependent on others to help us.

 We have to depend on others in this time. The job of taking care of us won’t fall evenly on all our children, but there will be one or two who have that primary job.  

That period of dependency we sometimes call our “second childhood”, because it resembles our first childhood, except in reverse. It usually starts with a “rebellious teenager” phase, where we insist to our children that we don’t need any help, when we do. Once we finally accept our limitations, we settle down and start to enjoy what we can. If we last long enough, though, we become much like babies, complete with spoon feeding and diapers. This is a normal progression of life, just like the process of birth, childhood and maturity. Your grandparents endured it, and so did their parents and their grandparents.

Even so, we hate the thought of getting older, as well as the thought that we will be called upon to take care of our parents. That’s why so many people avoid thinking about it or planning for it. When it happens, we are unprepared emotionally, physically, socially, or financially. Even more, we aren’t prepared spiritually.

Unless we expect it, we treat it as if it’s a total surprise and woefully unfair. We wonder why God is allowing this—as if we are the only ones in history who have ever gone through it!  If we are the one getting old, we wonder why God leaves us alive, when there is nothing more we can contribute to life. If we If we are the caretakers, we may question why we keep someone in this world who does not want to stay. Medicine has gotten so good that we can sometimes keep a body going long after the mind or even the will to live has departed. 

Yet we know that something isn’t right about this. God’s Word forbids killing, even mercy killing.  We know the church is against it, but we seldom talk about what’s wrong with it. We know it’s wrong, but we don’t know why.

This isn’t just about old people. There are plenty of broken people in the world that need a lot of care. Addicts, crippled people, and the mentally ill drain the resources of society. The time and resources spent on the least of our brethren takes away from the productive and whole.

Why aren’t people like gardeners? When a gardener plants a field, he uproots the sick plants to keep the healthy ones growing. In nature, weak antelopes are left to predators, which helps the overall population. Why aren’t we like antelopes? When we want our trees to grow, we prune the parts that don’t bear fruit. Why isn’t society like those fruit growers?  

We don’t do that because it isn’t what God wants. People are not weeds, fruit trees, or antelopes! We are made in God’s image and are therefore to be treated differently. We care for the weak because they are in the image of God. To love them is to love God.

Let me tell you the meaning of life. The meaning of life is not to do—the meaning of life is to be.

We’ve been trained since early childhood to look upon living as something we do. The worth of a person is measured by what they do. It is one of the first questions we ask people when we meet--“What do you do for a living?”  What we are really asking is where do you fit in a productive society? When people die. The most common statements in eulogies are about what we did.  She was a good mother. He was a good provider. The quality we most admire in people is that they could put in a good day’s work. We judge people by effort and contribution.

It therefore comes as a shock therefore to realize that Jesus doesn’t give a fig for what a person contributes either in money or action. He doesn’t identify Himself with the productive, but with the unproductive. The weaker members of our fellowship are the ones with whom Jesus identifies.  The kingdom of God isn’t with the strong but with the weak. It’s the poor, the mourning, the hungry and thirsty, the persecuted and the downtrodden, that Jesus calls blessed, and to whom He offers the kingdom of God. If Jesus were on earth today in human form, He would not be just preaching in the churches and cathedrals, but in the nursing homes, soup kitchens, homeless shelters, orphanages, prisons—to people who will never make a positive contribution to the physical growth of society.

 Our potential for productivity means nothing to Jesus’ value of us. What we are matters to Him—not what we do.

It’s easy to forget those who can’t contribute. It’s easy to forget them--unless they are our mothers, children, or brothers and sisters. If those who can’t contribute are our own loved ones, we will bend heaven and earth to make sure they aren’t forgotten.

The greatest tragedy of the modern church is that it is obsessed with being useful. We measure churches the same way we measure individuals. If a church is growing, it is considered a successful church. If a church isn’t growing, it’s considered unsuccessful. But God’s values are very different.  God doesn’t care about how big we are, or how productive we are--only about Whose we are. Are we like Him? Do we love as He loves? Do we love who He loved? 

There is a needlepoint on our wall at home, that reveals the meaning of life to me—"To love and to be loved is the greatest thing on earth.”    

 It isn’t what we do but how we love that matters. 

“To love and to be loved” During our lifetime, we each must play two roles. One is to be a lover and the other is to be an object of love for someone else. We switch back and forth between these two roles constantly. We cannot be one and not be the other. We must not only give love but be willing to receive it.  Each serves the purpose of being the physical representative of Christ on earth. God is love, and when we love, we represent God (1 John 4:7-8) When we love, we should do it without conditions or equivocation.

But we can’t be love-givers all the time.  Sometimes, we must reverse roles and become love receivers. We must become needy so other people can learn to love. In the eyes of the lover, the receiver of love is more important than the one who gives it. God loves us, and made us needy so He can give love. Without anyone to receive, how could God be love?

I have a dog--Natasha. She contributes nothing to our household income, nor does she do any work. From a work standpoint, she’s useless. But if you have a dog, you know that’s nonsense! Our dog contributes much to our household, by simply being there to be loved. We don’t think of her as useless, because she makes us better people. Taking care of her makes us feel more human, gives us sanity, and gives us a chance to love a creature that God made. 

We cannot be lovers without someone who needs our love. We cannot be caregivers without care-receivers. You cannot learn to love until you find a group of people who need your care and affection.

Jesus identifies with the weak among us. By loving them, we love Him. This leads us to three vital conclusions:

1.  We need care receivers as well as caregivers.  People are never useless. By simply being here, you help others become more like Jesus.

2. We don’t waste time when we care for others. You aren’t being distracted from “more important” work—you’re doing the most important work of all—showing Christ to the world.

3.  We as a church must care for the least of our members. The only thing Jesus says is done directly for Him is giving to the least of us. To look after the sick and shut-ins may seem like a burden at times, but it is the one thing that Jesus says is done directly for Him. 

Christian fellowship is a call to love all believers, but especially those who need it the most. We stand with those who do not have so we can hold them up.

We want you to contribute generously to the church in your time and money. But if you can’t contribute a dime, you are just as welcome as if you can. You are contributing by merely letting us love you. When you cannot give, you are offered the honored chair of being the living representative of Christ before us.