Today
we are talking about envy. Let’s start with some definitions. Jealousy and envy
are not the same. Jealousy is fearing losing what we have; envy is wanting what
someone else has.
Jealousy
is an emotion, and like all emotions it is given by God for a specific purpose.
Jealousy is helpful in in two different ways. First in defending what is rightfully ours. God
has this kind of jealousy in Exodus 20: 5
“For I the Lord your God am
a jealous God.” Paul has this kind in 2 Corinthians
11:2 “I feel a divine jealousy for you,
for I betrothed you to one husband, to present you as a pure virgin to Christ.
But I am afraid that as the serpent deceived Eve by his cunning, your thoughts
will be led astray.”
Paul loved the Corinthians and did not want them to
fall away, so he fought and prayed to defend them against the world, the flesh,
and the devil. It is not wrong to defend our own against attack, nor should I
tolerate those who would steal what is mine.
Second,
we should be jealous in seeking God’s blessings. The word “jealousy” comes from
the Greek zeelos which means “excited”
or stimulated.” A person with zeal is highly
motivated. Parazelos means to be
stimulated by others, as in healthy competition. If I see what another person
has accomplished, then I am motivated to seek the same. If I see what others achieve, then maybe I
can achieve it, too.
But
while jealousy has some good uses. Envy
has no good uses. Envy is entirely bad.
Let’s
imagine that you and I both were farmers, and had tomato patches next to each
other. Now let’s imagine that your
tomatoes look better than my tomatoes. They are fatter, juicier and
tastier. I would probably feel jealous
of your tomatoes. That jealousy could provoke me to do something good. I might
go to you and say, “How come your tomatoes are doing better than mine?” Then
next year, I would do the same, so that my tomatoes would be as good as yours.
Or I might decide to grow beets instead, which I would then trade for your tomatoes.
But
suppose I was envious of your tomatoes.
That would be getting mad because your tomatoes were better than mine. I
could sneak out at night and poison your tomatoes! Then neither of us would
have good tomatoes. In the first reaction, we both win. In the second, we both
lose. Envy tears down, while competition
and cooperation builds up.
The New Testament makes this distinction in
two ways. One way is combining the word “jealousy” with a word for “strife” or
“war.” We see this in James 3: 16
“For where jealousy and
selfish ambition exist, there will be disorder and every vile practice.”
The
word selfish ambition is the word eris,--meaning
a quarrel or an argument. It comes from Ares or Mars, the Greek god of war. The
feeling of jealousy combined with war makes it evil.
The
same words are used in Romans 1: 29
“They were filled with all
manner of unrighteousness, evil, covetousness, malice. They are full of envy,
murder, strife, deceit, maliciousness.” Again it is used in 1 Corinthians 3: 3 “for you are still of the flesh. For while
there is jealousy and strife among you, are you not of the flesh and behaving
only in a human way?”
The
New Testament uses a different word for envy—phtheiro, meaning “to waste, ruin, or shrivel.” Zeal builds up; envy tears down. It is wholly
destructive. It’s one thing to want good for ourselves; it is quite another to
deny good to others, or to envy their prosperity.
The
Bible has a lot to say about envy. For
example,
”A tranquil heart gives life
to the flesh, but envy makes the bones rot..”
Proverbs 14:30
"What comes out of a
person is what defiles him. For from within, out of the heart of man, come evil
thoughts, sexual immorality, theft, murder, adultery, coveting, wickedness,
deceit, sensuality, envy, slander,
pride, foolishness." Mark 7: 20-22
“Love is patient and kind;
love does not envy or boast; it is
not arrogant or rude. 1 Corinthians 13:4
“Fret not yourself because of evildoers, and be not envious of the wicked, for the evil man has no future; the lamp of the wicked will be put out.” Proverbs 24: 19-20
Zeal
builds up; Envy tears down.
What
is the root of envy? It comes from a sense of want. James says this in James 4:
1-4,
What causes quarrels and
what causes fights among you? Is it not this--that your passions are at war
within you? You desire and do not have, so you murder. You covet and cannot
obtain, so you fight and quarrel. You do not have, because you do not ask. You
ask and do not receive, because you ask wrongly, to spend it on your passions.”
When
we are young, we believe we compete with our brothers and sisters for the attention
of our parents. Our parents have a finite amount of attention to give. When we
grow older, we transfer that idea over to God. We assume that God also has only
a small amount of blessings to give, and that if someone else receives, we
won’t.
That
was the first mistake of Cain. He assumed that if Abel his brother was blessed
by God, then he could not be blessed. So Cain killed his brother, because he
thought Abel stole his blessing from God. What he did not know was that God
could give all His love to both of them.
If
God has given one person more than another in looks, talents, or material prosperity,
then what business is that of ours? If
God gives one man a million dollars and another a thousand, He still has plenty
to give. His million has nothing to do with my thousand. God could give each
one a hundred million, a billion, or a hundred billion dollars each, and it would
make no difference to Him. Whatever God has given or not given to us, it is
because of His knowledge and purpose for our lives. He is not stingy, He is
just loving in different ways.
The
Bible gives us many examples of jealousy like Cain and Abel, Jacob and Esau,
Saul and David--But one of the best examples of envy is the parables of the
Prodigal son in Luke 15.
In
this parable we meet a man who has two sons. The younger son demands his
portion of the father’s estate. Jesus does not give the younger son’s reason
for doing this, but it doesn’t take much to guess. As the younger son, his
portion of the inheritance is smaller than the older son—probably no more than
forty percent. If he stayed at home, then his big brother would be over him
forever. Envy is the likely reason for
him running away. Who wants to live under his big brother?
It
does him no good, of course. The younger boy doesn’t know how to handle money. Not
only that, but he missed out on a bigger inheritance that would have been his
if he had waited for the Old Man to die. Envy probably drove him to jeopardize
his future.
In
time, the younger son returns, and there is rejoicing and happiness. His father
gives him a hero’s welcome, complete with a party, new clothes, jewelry, and a
fatted calf.
Now,
it’s the older brother’s turn to be jealous. He refuses to come to the party,
but stays in the field. So his father leaves the party and seeks him. The older
son tells the father in Luke 15: 29-30,
“Look, these many years I
have served you, and I never disobeyed your command, yet you never gave me a
young goat that I might celebrate with my friends. But when this son of yours
came, who has devoured your property with prostitutes, you killed the fattened
calf for him!'
Envy
comes from focusing on how we measure up to others, rather than our standing
before God. If our self-worth is based on others, then we are living in envy. But
if we look to God for our happiness, then we will find it. Looking at others
first steals our happiness; looking to God first gives it back.
The
father answers his older son in 31-32. “Son,
you are always with me, and all that is mine is yours." The father
says, “Everything you have is mine! Do
you think I only have one fatted calf? Ask and you can have one for your friends?
Do I only have one robe? Ask, and it’s yours! What you see me give to him I can
give to you!”
The
biggest mistake is thinking God is finite in his love or His blessings. This is
not the case. We think our poverty or lack of natural abilities is favoritism to
others, when it’s really just a case of God knowing what we need and can
handle. We all must struggle in life—God just makes sure we are all struggling
over different things.
Do
not assume that fame, money, talent, or power makes us better or happier
people. When I visited Africa, the people I stayed with only had electricity
for two hours a day. They had little in education or material comforts. They
lived in a place where the temperature was more than a hundred degrees much of
the year. Yet they were far happier than
we are! It was not in spite of their
poverty, but because of it. Where no one has anything, there’s nothing to envy.
No one felt cheated when they did not have the latest clothes or appliances.
Yet we ruin our happiness by sulking over things others have, which can make
neither they nor us happy.
Jesus
tells us, “I have come that you might
have life, and have it more abundantly.” Happiness comes from Jesus. It
does not come from envy. It comes from knowing that what God gives us is
sufficient for all.
God
is not stingy with His love. He gives it to all. He lays upon us the glory of
His grace and gives it in abundance.
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