The Fruit of the Spirit: Patience

Colossians 3: 12-14

We are continuing a series on the Fruit of the Holy Spirit from Galatians 5: 22-23. These are characteristics of Jesus that the Holy Spirit wants to reproduce, and the fourth of these fruits is patience, or in the King James Version longsuffering. 

I was surprised to discover that patience didn’t mean what I thought. Patience in English means being able to wait. If we are caught in a traffic jam, stand in a line at the DMV, or wait in a ticket line, then we have to be patient. But in Greek the word means patience with people-- especially irritable and obnoxious people.  

Patience with people is more difficult than we care to admit. I would rather spend all day at the DMV than spend one hour in the company of some people I know. But Jesus wasn’t that way. He had no problem spending time with all kinds of people. He not only sought out the company of friends, but he also spent time with enemies. Jesus dined with the very scribes and Pharisees who were sought to kill Him. He wanted to be with them. Jesus had infinite patience even with those who hated Him.  

My wife once led a women’s group. Some of the women complained that if a certain woman kept coming they would leave. This woman had done nothing wrong, she just irritated them. Putting up with her demanded a lot of patience from the rest of the group, and they were no longer willing to give it. 

What they were doing was wrong. Instead of welcoming this woman with all her needs, they wanted to get rid of her. These women weren’t unusually bad, either; they had just run out of patience. In their view, the group would be happier without her. By uniting against her and casting her out, they thought the group would be more peaceful and less irritating. Going on worldly wisdom they might have been correct, but I doubt it. Once we start ridding ourselves of anyone who might irritate us or disagree with us, then we eventually wind up being alone.

Patience with others is not a suggestion, but a command from Christ. We are to imitate Christ in all things, which means we are also to imitate Him in his patience. We expect God to be patient at all times with us, so why should we also be patient with those who irritate us? The only reason you and I are here worshipping God instead of being blasted for our sins is because of God’s forgiving patience. God expects us to show the same patience to others that He shows to us.

One example of impatience is found in Genesis 37 in the story of Joseph and his brothers. Joseph’s ten older brothers became irritated with him. The reasons why does not matter. Certainly they were jealous of him. It didn’t help that Joseph was sharing dreams which seemed to indicate that God liked Joseph more than the rest, or that their father Jacob clearly showed favoritism to him. It may also have been that Joseph, who was only seventeen at the time, might have been behaving as a snitch and a smart-alack. Joseph may have just been a nerdy little brother—but again, this doesn’t matter. It never matters why someone is being picked on, because it’s still not the kid’s fault. His older brothers were bullying him. Bullies and abusers often blame the victim’s behavior for their cruelty, but this is nonsense. The real reason is that they lack patience with anyone who they don’t like, and treat their victims as subhuman. Joseph’s brothers threw him in a pit and sold him into slavery. There is no excuse for that. They probably laughed that they had gotten rid of their nerdy little brother. But they were being cruel and wrong. 

What makes us cast out the outcast? We do it because of our sinful nature. We do it with a desire to rid ourselves of people who irritate us for any reason. It doesn’t occur to us that we are being selfish. We are born with self-serving nature, which seeks our own comfort in every situation. Our duty as Christians, however, is to rise above selfishness. To follow Jesus is not to act like humans, but to be something more than human. We love the way He loved, and to show patience like His patience. We are told to put up with people who otherwise would bother us, to endure abuse instead of returning abuse, and to forgive things when it is easier to hold grudges. We do it for Christ’s sake, not for ours.

In Colossians, 3: 12-13, Paul tells us there are two kinds of people who need our patience. Those who irritate us, and those who hurt us.

“Therefore, as God's chosen ones, holy and beloved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another”

Is there someone so irritating to you that you find them hard to bear? Of course there is! Chances are that someone finds you irritating, too. What kind of person do we find irritating?

Strangers irritate us. There’s an old saying that says “birds of a feather flock together.” If we are near people who are not like us, then we get uncomfortable. If we could, we’d all stay inside our comfort zone forever, hanging out with our kind of people and keeping away from strangers. This desire probably starts in adolescent peer pressure, but it doesn’t stop when we get older. Remember, Joseph’s brothers were at least middle aged men when they sold their little brother into slavery. Old and young, rich or poor, black or white—we are all guilty of pushing away the stranger.

People who believe differently irritate us. During this election year you’ll be seeing lots of angry, hateful postings on Facebook denouncing the opposite party.  It’s as if people can’t imagine others having different opinions from their own. In every conflict, people use the other side as convenient scapegoats for our own anger. We even take joy in it.

 People moving at a different pace irritate us. Fast people make fun of those who move slow, and visa-versa.

People who make us jealous irritate us. Why do we get mad at people who have what we don’t?  It’s not the fault of rich people that we are poor, or beautiful people that we aren’t, or smart people that we are average, or talented people that we have no talent. Avoiding people who have what we don’t doesn’t help us become richer, smarter, handsomer, or talented. In fact, it is more likely to create the opposite effect.

People with different interests irritate us. People will ostracize those who follow a different football team, who like school or don’t like school, who wear different clothing, or even who have different accents. It’s not just children who do this, but grown people do it too.

People we consider immoral irritate us. I have often heard Christians complain that they are forced to work with people on the job who are immoral, as if their immorality somehow rubs off on them.  Consider how Jesus looked at the companionship of immoral people. He sought out their companionship.  Jesus had the patience to spend time with sinners so He could save them. The Pharisees who condemned Jesus were the ones who believed that Christians and non-Christians should avoid each other. Jesus believed that He should be patient with the sinner, in order to show them the love of God. 

The rest of this verse goes like this, “If one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive.”

The second category of people who need our patience are those hurt us. It’s hard not to bully others, but it’s even harder to forgive those who bully us. When you think you’ve been mistreated, what should you do about it?  First of all, we should forgive, as Christ has forgiven.

When other hurt us, we should complain. Even so, we should also recognize that the abuse others pile on us comes from the same sinful nature which exists within ourselves. Just because we are abused doesn’t mean we aren’t abusers, too.

Learn to forgive. Do not break up relationships over small mistreatments. Stand up to bullying, but don’t be so sensitive that minor slights are seen as major insults. We all sin against each other. Patience is not perfect in anyone until Jesus comes. If our abusers have fallen short in this, so have we.

There is no shortcut to developing patience. We must seek it constantly. God doesn’t give us patience all at once, but in little increments. When we get irritated, we should stop immediately and pray for patience. In time we will find that were are having to ask less, because we are being patient automatically. The Holy Spirit is giving patience before we even ask. The only way to develop patience is to live with irritating people until we learn to practice patience.

Love is the antidote to impatience. Colossians 3: 14 says, “Above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony.” The more we love, the more patient we become.  In 1 Corinthians 13 when Paul lists the characteristics of love, and the first one is patience.

Patience is required to be part of a church. The first church that existed, the community of the twelve disciples, could not have existed without patience.

Imagine what life must have been like, traveling with Jesus’ twelve disciples! Peter was a loudmouth.  James and John were called the “Sons of Thunder.” Matthew was an educated old man, collaborated with Romans as a tax collector. Simon Zealotes hated everything about the Romans and anyone who worked with them. Thomas didn’t trust anyone. Judas was a thief and a liar. Nathaniel hated everyone who came from Nazareth! How would these men ever have enough patience to work together? It would have been impossible, except that Jesus was there with them, patiently loving them all!

God wants us to have churches like the one He Himself organized. Churches where people don’t look alike, think alike, feel alike or act alike. The Body of Christ is an improbable collection of unrelated people who nevertheless have one single thing in common—Jesus Christ. 

The only way to have peace in the church is to let Jesus be in the center of it!  Only in the presence of Christ, and through the power of the Holy Spirit can we learn to be patient with one another.