What
will we do in this world that will be important when we die? Little will be
left to mark most of our existence. Even tombstones disappear eventually. Our
names will be forgotten on the earth not long after our passing.
There
is only one thing of value that will survive our death—our legacy.
It’s
not what we build that we leave behind, but the legacy we leave in others that
really marks our passing.
What
is a legacy? Webster gives two definitions for legacy.
“1.
a gift by will especially of money or other personal property:
“2.
something transmitted by or received from an ancestor or predecessor or from
the past.”
Wealthy
families work very hard at leaving behind a physical legacy. Poor families
don’t expect to leave behind much of material value. But whether we are rich or
poor, we need to think about our legacy. What are we giving our children? Are
we helping them to survive in life?
When
my children were young, I determined before they left the house that I would
give them three things—my three “c’s”—college, car, and computer. It might not
be an ivy league college, the computer may be an old Windows XP, and the car
might not have a radio or air conditioning, but I wanted them to have all
three. Mostly I achieved that. That was
their physical legacy.
But
in the end, physical legacies don’t matter much. They can use them to get
started, but after that they are on their own. It’s the spiritual legacy we
leave behind that really matters. Our spiritual legacy are the values, faith,
and ethics that we want to pass down. These are the all-important part of our
lives that will live on after them.
Most
of what we know will be of no use to our children. Much of what I learned as a
child is not obsolete. But the values that I learned as a child is still
valuable. I may not need to know how to balance a checkbook or to fix a
carburetor, but I still need to know who to worship.
The
problem with many parents is that they are investing their time, money, and
effort into building the wrong legacy for their children. They are giving them
a legacy of unimportant values and things, and not investing in a legacy that
is important. We are investing ourselves
into things that will please them now, instead of what will guide them
later.
We
want them to have material things. Did you know that the mortgage debt in the
United States is more than eight trillion dollars? It would be a lot less if we
didn’t have bigger houses than anyone else in the world. Yet we think that we
must have big houses, to give our children more space to live. Our student loan
debt is more than two trillion dollars. Yet
we think we must borrow this in order to be successful. Yet big houses and more
education has not made us happy—if anything, it has made us less happy. The
legacy we are leaving our children are massive debts and household upkeep
expenses.
The
psalmist says it is in vain. We work hard to get ahead, but it doesn’t make us
happy. We leave behind legacies for our children to squander. The only value to our labor is the love we
put into it. There’s no sense trying to
claim our service as necessary. “Vanity
of vanities” said the Preacher in Ecclesiastes, “All is vanity.”
All
our planning and saving will guarantee that we will leave anything behind. But
if we invest in our children’s spiritual upbringing now, then we will leave
behind people who influence the future on our behalf.
The
biggest part of building our legacy is having a relationship with them. The
psalmist declares: “Sons are a heritage
from the LORD, children a reward from him. Like arrows in the hands of a warrior
are sons born in one's youth. Blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them. They
will not be put to shame when they contend with their enemies in the gate.”
The
singer tells us that “children” are our true legacy. “Children” may also refer
to those we have trained and discipled for Him. We will not all produce
physical children, but we can leave a legacy of people we touch. They are the
ones we influence, mentor, and coach along the way. They are the keepers of our
legacy when we are gone. The line of people we touch is the temple we leave for
God. The greatest churches are like matchstick houses compared to the beauty of
God’s grace in a single heart.
Worship
and reverence are caught, not taught. Our children catch it from us when they
see us behaving as if God is important. What we teach may be forgotten, but our
love and character will be remembered.
The
psalmist compares children to arrows. Arrows projectile weapons. They extend
our power over a long distance. Our children are the arrows of our legacy. They
can extend our influence over decades, and to the ends of the earth. That’s why
we need to be intentional about raising them. It requires our utmost care and
attention.
Here
are three things to keep in mind when raising children in the faith.
First—aim
them well. Intentionally attempt to
influence your children in the right path from their earliest age. I don’t mean
just correct and rebuke them. That may change how the child acts on the
outside, but it doesn’t build a lasting legacy unless we also change their
inside. Honesty, genuineness and love are more important to shaping the inner
child than curfews and restrictions. We want them to want to copy our behavior.
When
you aim an arrow, you don’t just learn how to point it. You first have to check
your stance. You aim with your head,
feet, and torso, as well as your arms and eyes. In archery, the way you stand
is most of the game.
The
same thing with aiming children. If we want our children to do right, we must
do right. They are more likely to follow what we do than what we say they
should do.
Teach
your children to trust the Lord by demonstrating it. If you don’t want your
children to be worriers, learn to overcome your own worries, and show them how.
We do not cause them to be afraid, overcome your own fears. Don’t just take a
child to church, learn to pray for your children. Don’t just buy children a
Bible; read it with them and in front of them, and discuss what you read. Our
children need to know we practice what we preach.
Second, let them go. What
good is an arrow if it stays on the bow? Children need to have adventures. Encourage
them to seek their own path. Encourage
them to seek God’s will for their own lives, without dictating what we think it
ought to be. We cannot always know what
they will do. Our job is to build God’s character in them, not to dictate the
precise path our children will take. Christians do not have to be told that the
world is a dangerous place for children. We see the news daily. There are dangerous
temptations everywhere. It is a mistake, however, to hold our children too
closely. God did not give us a spirit of fear.[1] If
God protects and guides us, it stands to reason that He will also protect and
guide our children. Controlling their lives will not protect them from the
world nearly as well as praying for them and trusting Christ to protect them.
Parents
ought to love their children: and children their parents. But to place the
parent-child relationship above our relationship with God is idolatry. When our
desire to hold our children impedes their opportunity to be independent
servants of God, we have done nothing to help them or ourselves.
When the arrow is gone, get
another one. “Blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them.” The Pilgrims recorded that
when they first met the Indians, each warrior carried a quiver of fifty arrows! If we had a quiver full of children, that
would be a lot of kids!
If
you want to leave a legacy, get some more! I don’t mean physical children, but
children of the faith. Those we lead to and disciple in Christ are just as much
as physical children are. Once our children have been launched, we can still raise
up the children of faith.
We can mentor youth. We can evangelize. We can work
with the disadvantaged. These children are just as much our legacy as our
physical children.
Before
we can leave a legacy, though, we must receive a legacy. The legacy we have
received is through God through Jesus.
He has given us the legacy of eternal life. Do not neglect to receive
what God has given, the gift of eternal life in Him. That same legacy is the
most important thing we can leave for others, and the most important thing we
may receive before we die.
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